Spence Hood
WTRG 3007
Multimodal Project

Acting 101

Video:    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jI4eqN4w5H4

If I had worn the red tie instead, would you have hired me?  What if I said I loved your favorite baseball team?  What if I had better posture?  Whiter teeth?  Brighter eyes?  Shorter hair?  A more expensive watch?  Were my fingernails too long?  Were my hands too small?  Were the glasses a little much?  Should I really consider contacts?  Could you smell the pomade in my hair?  Was it my dress shirt?  Did you get a little glare off of the shiny buttons?  Do you hate the pinstripes?  Could I have gone home and changed real quick?  Did you notice the slightly off-color socks?  Did I use the wrong shoe polish?  Were the soles too thick?  Did I shuffle in the door too loudly?  Do I shuffle?  Am I bothersome?  Do I need to work on that?

Could you hear the musician in me?  Could you see the guitar string calluses in my fingers?  Did you see the tip of the capo just barely sticking out of my pocket?  Could you hear the song stuck in my head?  Could you hear the tenor stuck in my voice?  Was it the volume at which I spoke?  Was it my softly tapping thumb on your desk?  Was it my next-to-silent humming when I was sitting outside?  Did I smell like a studio room?  Did I smell like a musician?  Should I have worn more cologne?

And what if the blinds were a little more opened?  Your office a little warmer?  What if the cleaning crew hadn’t just switched to a new air freshener?  What if your coffee had been a little stronger? Your toast a little darker?  If you had gone to bed 20 minutes earlier the night before?  If it was a Friday instead?  Should I have come in on Friday?  What if your secretary had worn something more revealing that day?  If your intern didn’t have that tiny bleach stain on his jacket sleeve?  What if you hadn’t parked a little crooked the first time?  If your computer could have performed updates on literally any other day?  What if your wife had kissed you goodbye for a little bit longer?  What if it had snowed instead of rained?  What if you were happier?  More well-rested?  Was it my job to cheer you up?

Am I treated based on who I am?  Or based on every little thing that pushes the person treating me in one direction or another?  If you’re in a good mood, do I get to work for you?  If a billboard is being held up by steel poles instead of wooden ones, do you look at for any longer on your drive to work?  Do you know how much that steel costs?  Do you know about the engineering that went into making it so sturdy?  Or is it just the bottle of vodka on the sign that holds your attention for three seconds?  Who am I?  Who should I be?  Who do you want to see in me?  Who would look good in your office?  Who reminds you of yourself eight years ago?  What’s his name?  Where can I find him?

And by the way, what’s your favorite football team?  Oh I love that watch, where did you get it?  This is a great little office, have you been here for a while?  Your secretary is a total sweetheart, what’s her name again?  I have to ask, where on earth can I get a haircut like yours?

When do I start?